after april

things are going down down downhill

ive been losing the will

im walking along a path

full of trouble and shattered glass

its so dark here id filled up with fear

that i€€'ll never escape from here

and now it is my day

to rise up and say

i am through

my tears will dry out

the sun will come out

and i'll sing out loud

you cant bring me down

not now, not ever

my days will get longer

my heart will become stronger

you cant bring me down

not now, not ever

i once was the star

the girl your mum would love

your beautiful angel from above

but you never treated me

quite as good as i should be

and now ive got to leave

while you stay behind

my tears will dry out

the sun will come out

and i€€'ll sing out loud

yoy cant bring me down

not not, not ever

my days will get longer

my heart will become stronger

you can't bring me down

not now, not ever

and after everything i gave to you

all the promises you€€'d made

but never once followed through

and i'm glad that this is over now

not for me, but for us

my hearts never belong with you

i'm sorry but it's true

it's true

my tears will dry out

the sun will come out

and i€€'ll sing out loud

you can't bring me down

not now, not ever

my days will get longer

my heart will become stronger

you can't bring me down

not now, not ever

no not now, not ever

..

whydid you have to go
why did you go so soon
what did you do to deserve this
what did we do to deserve this
do you know how much i love you
do you know how much we all loved you
do you know you'll never be forgotton
do you know you're always in my heart

i love you zak, always will
you were, and always will be, one of the most genuinely kind and funny men i've known and i was so lucky to have known and spent time with you

little bit

it's either always
or not at all

.

stay with me forever or not at all
cause when you leave i swear i'll fall
i'll go down down down below
and there won't be you to say no

for you i open up my heart
for you i lay my legs apart
for you i let romance start
you know i let you into my world
i want to be your one and only girl

stay with me forever or not at all
cause when you leave i swear i'll fall
i'll go down down down below
and there won't be you to say no
i could beg and plead
fall to my knees
but no
baby you'll go

i thought i was too wise
i thought i was too young
to let myself fall, fall so deep for somebody
but now i've given you my all, my mind, my body
i know i haven't just given it to anyone
but someday you might someone
and it wont be me, it won't be

I'm so happy with you Shea, I am completely in love with you. I know this because I miss you so much the second you leave, I want to spend all my time with you and when we're together it's just amazing. I loved Wednesday, you're just the best ('Welcome back'). I love your hugs and kisses, you know exactly what I like. I want to go away somewhere together, just for a few days. So we can spend loads of time together and it can just be us, no worries. Sound good? Thought so. I also want to have a proper dinner date sometime and I'm excited for dating in the dark but this will happen at your house because you have asparagus at your house and I don't. I honestly didn't think we'd last this long, I thought you'd get tired of me within weeks but it's been 3 and a half months and we're still together and to be honest, I don't see us finishing anytime soon-it's fantastic. I just adore you, everything about you. You're absolutely gorgeous, so hot. Your haircut looks good by the way, saw it on dailybooth. See you tomorrow, I love you x

Happiness is only round the corner

It's so true, I am so happy right now. Ten months ago I was at a really low point because I'd lost somebody really close to me but now I feel things have seriously looked up for me. I'm not a lucky person normally but now I feel like somebody's on my side. I love my friends, I haven't spent loads of time with them recently but I will soon because they're lovely. I love my family even though they can be mean at times, I know they love me too. I have the best boyfriend in the whole wide worlds. He's the bestest. He's so gorgeous and sexy and I seriously wish I could eat him all up but then he'd be gone and that would be a sad day so yeah, that wish is taken back. I love him so much, he made me a cd, a lovely book thing and he's written me a letter. I love him so so so so so so so so much. Ugh, I'm so in love. I always talk about him, everywhere. It's a good habit I think but maybe other people don't see it that way.


You are my sunshine
My only sunshine
You make me happy
When skies are grey
You'll never know dear
How much I love you
Please don't take
My sunshine away.

white blank page

Why is this the title? Well, I do love the song by Mumford & Sons but it's actually because I feel like I've started a new page in my life, a new chapter I guess. It's a new year at school, my final year which is really important and I've got a new boyfriend, the best one yet and one I want to keep. I'm going to make the effort this year and I don't just mean at school, I mean with everything. A smile really does go a long way and I've realised this more so recently. I want to do all my homework, ask questions when I don't understand something and listen. After all, the teachers are there to help me learn so I should make use of them. I'm going to try harder with Dad, try to get our relationship stronger because nowadays it's odd. He probably doesn't see it that way but all you have to do is look at us when we're around each other, he doesn't do affection anymore and he's never ever told me he loves me. I know he does but I wish he'd say it, just once. I'm going to try and find a close friend, my best friends in Canada and I don't know when or if she'll be coming back so I need a girl that I can be really close too. I don't want a new best friend, that's like trying to replace her. I just want a girl I can confide in and talk to about anything. I've been having a brilliant time with my boyfriend. I love him so much and words aren't even enough now. How can things go so fast with us, is it wrong? Why does time have to go by so quickly? What does he see in me, what's appealing about me? I can't answer any of those questions but I can't help but wonder. I have had the best of days with him and I hope to have so so so much more. I cannot wait until the October holidays, I want to see him almost everyday but obviously I want to see my family too. I'm so in love it's crazy, I'd do anything for him...