2010. The end of an era or just the beginning?

When I think back to all the memories from the past ten years I get dizzy, what a freak. I honestly honestly won't miss 2009. I did have some great memories, learn new things and meet amazing people but there was too much loss and I don't want to deal with that again. I'm so angry with myself, I feel like I'm dwelling on Zak's death but it's just coming up to a month since he passed away so I feel like I'm doing alright. I just don't want people to carry on as normal because it isn't anymore but now when I'm out and about it's like everybody's carrying on as if he isn't there and I hate that. Maybe they just don't want to think about it, try hard for Zak. I guess I'm a let down then because frankly I can't do that. I'll never be over it. The summertime wasn't enjoyable either, losing Kirsty hit a lot of people big time. I don't want anybody else to be lost but I know it's going to happen and I'm constantly worrying about who's going to be next and to be honest it seems the people that have been taken are becoming closer and closer to me. Less of the depressing stuff right? Think positive or at least Blog positive. I'm trying to look forward to what this year has in store. I can't wait to get my exams out the way so I can enjoy summer. I'll just take everything as it come's I guess.